IF YOU LOVE ME, LEAN HARD

 

Facing some uncertain things right now, I could not wait to run into the arms of my Daddy yesterday and spill it all out to him in my journal.  I asked him some hard questions.

Daddy, in your word it talks about never seeing the righteous begging for bread, but I do see your kids desperate like that sometimes.  What about your people running from ISIS in the mountains of Iraq?  Daddy, it looks like sometimes you don't take care of your kids - you let them die.  What's up with that, Daddy?

"Then what happens?"

They're with you, and everything is ok.

But they suffer so, Daddy.  Will I suffer so, too?

"I am your Daddy.  Trust me.  I will provide for you and your little ones."

Daddy, I have no more little ones.

"Yes, you are a mama to many little ones.  They watch you.  They learn to trust me by watching you.  If you love me, lean hard."

Give me a scripture, Daddy.

1 Samuel 11:1-11.  God's people at Jabesh Gilead were attacked by the Ammonites.  The people tried to make a treaty with them, but the Ammonites gave them one condition for the treaty.  They would gouge out the right eye of every person of Israel, so that God's people would live in disgrace. God's people asked for 7 days to decide if they would submit to this condition, then they sent word to all of Israel to see if they could get some help or not.  Newly crowned King Saul heard about it and gathered the troops in their defense.  During the last watch of the night before the city of Jabesh Gilead was supposed to be handed over to the Ammonites, Saul sent 3 divisions of soldiers into the Ammonites' camp and slaughtered them until the heat of the day.

Never mind that all of this happened right after the prophet Samuel had told the Israelites that they had sinned against the Lord in even asking for a king.  Would God reject them for their rejection of him?  No, instead Samuel tells the people, "For the sake of  his great name, the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own." 1 Samuel 12:22.

Daddy, you were somehow pleased to make me your own, to be able to say, this one's mine - that pleased the God of the Universe, the King of all creation.  Why in the world did it please you to make me, Taffy Spaloss, your own?

And he whispered in my heart some of his reasons, as he will whisper to you when you ask him what he loves and treasures about you.

I thought then of Hinds Feet on High Places, and the times Much Afraid chose to trust her Shepherd when faced with impossibilities along her journey to the high places.

"Here I am, your little handmaiden, Trusting in Uncertainty."

Here I am,

Resting in your goodness.

Leaning HARD

On your everlasting arms.

Placing all that I have, 

All that I am, 

On the One who says of me,

"For the sake of my great name,

I, the Lord, will not reject you,

Because it gives me great pleasure

To make you my own".

Taken from 1 Samuel 12:22.

Daffodil

Here she comes,

Her bright green stalk

Bursting through spring snow

Tall, proud, bud stretching skyward toward the sun.

Then a brilliant yellow flash!

The daffodil briefly lifts her sunshine bonnet heavenward,

Then bows her lovely head:

The created glory deferring

To the greater glory of Creator.

Tidbits from Hebrews

“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts…”  

I was reading these words one morning in Hebrews 3, leading up to that amazing chapter 4 where God describes what it’s like to rest in him.  I felt like he was saying, “Enter my rest. Don’t let unbelief keep you on the other side of the window, your face pressed against the glass, watching others enjoy life, enjoy me and my presence.  It is your choice, not your fate, that keeps you there on the outside looking in.”

So, I listened, and here’s what I heard Daddy singing over me this morning:

I’m not like your father.

I’m not like your father.

I will always see you.

Always hear you.

Always help you.

Always love you.

I am not like your father.

Listen.  What is Daddy singing over you?

That Sucker is Not Coming Down!

Our microwave is on the fritz, sending my husband, Jimmy into one of his soapbox messages on how things are built today.

“They make everything to break, so you have to buy it again.  That’s not how I build things,” he declares.

I have seen him build, even just to put a shelf up in my sewing room.  Extra nails, extra screws. “That sucker is not coming down”, he promises.  And in those times when he does actually have to take apart something he has made, it’s a big chore due to all those extra pieces of hardware, and the heaviness and quality of the wood.  

 Just read a word this morning from Bob Hartley (here is link to read for yourself: http://elijahlist.com/words/display_word.html?ID=12999), where God spoke to him about building.  At the end of the article Bob asked God questions, and to each question God responded “Go forth and build”…”Go, build and have fun”…

So what kind of building is God in the business of doing?  Does he want us to build in such a way that broken people have to rely on us forever, like we are led to believe is the manufacturer's motive in creating microwaves whose doors no longer latch so they cannot run anymore?    I believe God says NO to that building motive since it does not line up with his heart to honor and empower people to be who he created them to be.

We are called to bring the Kingdom of God wherever we go.  We invite people to see God, to see what God sees in them, and be part of this heaven coming to earth called the Kingdom of God.  Like Jimmy, we build to last, not to make people rely on us to sustain them and keep them dependent on us to feed them lest they starve.  Instead, we teach them to taste and see that the Lord is so good, to learn to feed on him themselves.  So our ceiling becomes their floor, from glory to glory.

And “that sucker is not coming down!”

Mom called me “Softie”. She said that she didn’t need to punish me much as a child because I would become so upset with myself for displeasing her that I didn’t need her punishment on top of it. “If I withheld a little love from you, you would stop what you were doing and change your behavior.” Maybe that’s not exactly how she said it, but it became the principle by which I operated for most of my life. “Please people, get their favor” was my sustenance. And if the person could not, would not be pleased with me, what distress I suffered. I strove to be everyone’s best friend, everyone’s confidante. I listened, cheered and/or commiserated. I loved being a blessing, but still felt like it was never enough, especially if I messed up. In light of my performance mentality, reading chapter 3 in Danny Silk’s book, Culture of Honor was very enlightening to me. Silk quoted John 14:15, “If you love me, you will obey me.” I used to tell that one to my kids all the time. Just ask them. This is how you show your love, by obeying me, God, Dad, by obeying the rules. Why did I teach them to obey the rules? Because that was how I lived my life, careful to obey the rules, not get in trouble, please everyone and feel good about my achievements. Straight “A”s in college was just the tip of the iceberg of my performance mentality. But Silk interprets this scripture differently, with grace: "When we hear this command from the mindset of the law of Christ we hear, 'If you love me, it’s going to show up in how you treat the things that I told you are important to me. The way you manage yourself in our relationship is going to be a clear indicator to me of your love."” (Culture of Honor, p. 87) So God says to us, you decide what you’re going to do. He doesn’t control us, nor does he want to. Instead he gave us a spirit of self-control. " It is your attention to our relationship, and your ability to manage yourself in this relationship in order to create and sustain intimacy that manifests the law of life in Christ. Intimacy – in-to-me-you-see…(It’s) how you learn what is important to me, and if you love me, you’ll adjust your behavior to protect my heart.” (Culture of Honor, p. 87) So, it’s not rules obeyed to make the grade, performance in order to belong and to be accepted as a son, or friend, or lover. Instead it’s because I am already a daughter, a friend, a lover that I am careful to please the one I love. There is no fear that I will be abandoned because of my behavior. Could it be that this amazing love relationship was what caused Jesus’ disciples to turn the world upside down? Could it be that we can still do the same? God, may our lives declare this truth in living color. This is what love looks like: I live out of intimacy with God and love people the same way. I reject no one for their behavior, but instead help them take responsibility for their actions, and love them all the while, just as I am loved.

You Smell Like....

Sometimes I am a pain at work.

Just ask the girls I work with.  I bring on stomach pains of hunger.  It happens regularly when I heat up leftovers made by my gourmet husband for lunch at work and the aroma of creamy feta shrimp, or basil chicken, comes wafting down the hallway.

“Oh, man!” They moan.  “What did he make you this time, and is there any for me?”

I know, I truly know, I am very blessed to have a husband who loves to cook for me.  But I got to thinking about fragrances, smells that we emanate as we go along in life, some that are pleasant like Jimmy’s leftover fajitas, and some that smell more like the rotting onions we sometimes find at the bottom of the pantry closet.

Sometimes I think I smell more like that rotten onion in the bag, than a delicious lunch.  It’s like this. When my grandson, Cade was a baby and staying at my house for the first few weeks of his life, I would cuddle him whenever I could, in the crook of my neck, where I put on my perfume. Inevitably, when mommy, Rachel got him back, she would exclaim, “Oh, he smells like Grandma!”

I like to think that when I hang out with Jesus, or snuggle up against the chest of my heavenly Daddy, some of his wonderful fragrance rubs off on me.  Then when you hang out with me, you may end up feeling refreshed or blessed, though you may not know why.  You may even ask me to share some of what I have, just like a bite of Jimmy’s leftover Thai green curry.

But smells do wear off.  Cade doesn’t smell like me when I haven’t held him for a week.  And I don’t carry God’s fragrance when I haven’t been spending time in his presence. Cade may still smell like a sweet baby when he’s away from Grandma, but I think I don’t spread a very pleasant fragrance when I haven’t been with Jesus.  Instead, you may find yourself sniffing discouragement, malodorous bitterness, or putrid complaining.  Phew! You won’t anytime soon be asking for a taste of that lunch!

So, here’s the deal.  God wants us to spread his fragrance everywhere we go, so people will want a taste and find out how good he is.  And all we have to do to smell like God is to be with him, to spend time with him, talking to him, reading his word, worshiping him. And he smells so good that it’s really a no-brainer when he invites us to have a taste of what he is serving up.  Oh, taste and see that the Lord IS good.  Then go and share your lunch with everyone!

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.  To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. 2 Cor. 2:14-16.

I'm a lover of His presence

It was another fretting time, another time where I was focusing more on the problem in front of me than on the One who holds me in the palm of his hand.  I rushed home from a stressful and busy week of work on Friday, and immediately “changed hats” to get the rugs vacuumed, bathroom cleaned, kitchen tidied and floors washed to be ready for company that evening.

As I cleaned I was grouching and I knew it!.  I was aware that the chores were not being done with joy because of my attitude, but continued anyway in that frame of mind. 

Then I realized that a song was playing in the back of my mind as I mopped.  We had sung it the night before at House of Prayer, and there I was singing in my spirit, as I grouched, “I’m a lover of your presence, I’m a lover of your presence, I’m a lover of your presence, and that’s all I wanna be…” 

Now satan is a shame player.  He loves to bring things up to us to make us feel ashamed and unworthy to stand in God’s presence.  But God isn’t like that.  The Father always seeks to call us back to our true identity, who he made us to be, and to draw us into his arms.  If this was satan’s tactic I would have felt ashamed when I realized that I was grumbling, while singing a worship song.  But the instant I recognized the song playing in my spirit I felt the Father say to me, “This is who you really are.” 

I hate when people see me at my worst, and maybe don’t know who I really am.  I hate when I see myself acting like I am not a lover of God.  But God always looks at the heart and calls out true identity.  It’s all about honor.  God honors each one he loves, and he loves each one he made.  He woos us with his love whispers.  “This is who you really are; this is who I created you to be.” And hope rises up that there is more than whatever rut we may be in at any given moment, that there is someone who always believes in us and encourages us to be the person he sees in our heart of hearts, the person we really want to be. 

Then, when we “get it”, he calls us into the family business.  He gives us the joy of honoring those around us and calling them into true identity.  And it’s a whole lot more fun than grouching!