No Regrets

 

I was driving with a friend a few weeks ago, chatting about heaven, and her brother and sister, who are there.

She asked me, “Don’t you think people feel regret in heaven for what they did on the earth?”

Later I looked up the meaning of regret: “feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity”; “regret is distress of mind, sorrow for what has been done or failed to be done”.

I was in her house one day witnessing my friend’s sister expressing deep regret over how she had hurt her son. I saw her standing at the top of the stairs, holding her son as he cried, lamenting over what she’d done. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Is there that kind of regret in heaven?

God says he will wipe away all tears in heaven. But if we don’t lament in heaven over our poor choices in life, does that mean we lose our memories, don’t remember our failures?

I don’t think Father God does a lobotomy on us when we enter the pearly gates. So remembering our failures must somehow be different there.

1 John 4: 16-18 says “Love never brings fear, for fear is always related to punishment. But love’s perfection drives the fear of punishment from our hearts.”

What’s it like to fail in front of someone who you know loves you and will never stop loving you? What’s it like to view something you did on the earth that was very wrong, standing next to the one who died because of that act?

I think it’s still sad, but remembering with Jesus standing next to you reminding you that your mistakes intentional or otherwise are paid for, in advance, changes everything.

So, where is Jesus right now?

That’s right, he’s right here. Right next to me, seeing everything, knowing what I’ve done, loving me anyway. So then let’s talk about regret here and now, no need to wait for heaven. There’s a new way to deal with regret over real crap we’ve done, or are doing.

God says “Those who look to me are radiant; they will never be put to shame.” Psalm 34:5

This is reality! Dream with me: If shame is off the table, how is everything different?

Mystery

 

Psalm 101: Celebrate God’s Goodness

“His wonders are so delightfully mysterious that they leave all who seek them astonished.” Ps. 101:2

Just read this about mystery in morning in Mornings and Evenings by Bill and Beni Johnson: 

“If our encounters with God don’t leave us with more questions than when we started, then we have had an inferior encounter. A relationship with God that does not stir up that realm of mysterious wonder is an inferior relationship.” (excerpt from January 9)

Sometimes mystery is frustrating, like with my friend who often leaves half of the conversation unspoken, but expects me to know what she’s talking about. How is your mystery different? How is it “delightfully mysterious”?

It’s an invitation to search for more. Some may choose to just stop searching. But that’s not why some things are hidden. The Pharisees just stopped with, “what is he talking about?” But my disciples asked me for the explanation. It’s the glory of God to hide, and the glory of kings to search it out.

“I have given you a gift called mystery. If used correctly this gift will draw you into the depths of me, into encounters with Heaven that surprise you, filling you with awe and wonder. Embrace it!” (Bill Johnson)

But mystery can feel unsafe to me. Like I felt one friend used the secrets I shared with her against me, so I stopped sharing them with her. And with most people. To this day. Sometimes I feel like no one really knows me. I only let them know what I choose to open up about. How’s that for mystery?

But that’s not what I do. My mystery is an invitation: Come deeper!

Proverbs 25:2 “God conceals the revelation of his word in the hiding place of his glory. But the honor of kings is revealed by how thoroughly they search out the deeper meanings of all that God says.”

You bid me walk upon the waters – there I find you in the mystery. (Oceans song) Rest in your embrace, in the mystery, in oceans deep, where feet may fail.

There’s no tension of the unknown expressed in this Psalm. Why? Because “his unforgettable works of surpassing wonder reveal his grace and tender mercy”. Ps.111:6. Oh, it’s you – I recognize you now behind the mystery!

And then, “He satisfies all who love and trust him, and he keeps every promise he makes.” Ps. 111:5

As you told Much Afraid (Hinds Feet on High Places), when you reach the High Places you will love and be loved in return. So it’s safe to abandon myself to you, embrace the mystery, put all my eggs in one basket. For you will keep every promise you’ve ever made to me.

So many things are transient, unreliable. Marriages of 12, 15, 17 years tossed away on a whim. Broken promises explained away as if the explanation makes any sense. “I love you – I’m just not in love with you anymore” – what does that mean anyway?

But not with me. I love you with an everlasting love. See, not a ring on my finger – look, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. I purchased you – you are mine. I’m not like your father. Broken men break their kids. But I’m bigger, better than that. I’m safe, even in the mystery.

Yes, as I sang over you in Israel, come and play with me. Come seek me out, step out when you can’t see the ground. Jump when you can’t see the bottom. I satisfy all who love and trust me. Those who look to me are radiant; they will never be put to shame.

Rainbow: “He keeps every promise he makes.” Ps. 111:5

Ps. 111:9 Your “forever love” paid the full ransom for your kids.

THIS ONE WAS BORN IN ZION!

 

Psalm 87, Fountains of Joy (The Passion Translation)

High upon his hills of holiness stands God’s city.

How God loves the gates of Zion, his favorite place on earth.

So many glorious things have been proclaimed over Zion, God’s holy city!

For the Lord says, “Here are the nations who will acknowledge me as God:

Egypt, Iraq, Palestine, and the Mediterranean people, even distant Ethiopia.

They will all boast, ‘I was born in Zion!’”

But over Zion it will be said, “The mighty Man was born there and he will establish it.”

For the God Most High will truly bless Jerusalem.

And when he counts her citizens, recording them in his registry,

he will write by their name: “This one was born again here!”

And the princes of God’s feasts will sing and dance, singing “Every fountain of

delight springs up from your life within me!”

This one was born in Zion!

I finally found where I belong, my identity, when I met you. For you are Zion.

And the first time I stepped onto the ground in Israel, it was like the Zion in me came home to the Zion where you walked!

Where you are, that is Zion. And I just want to be where you are. I just want to be near your heart.

Legislating from the Throne Room

 

Psalm 91 in The Passion Translation is entitled “Safe and Secure”.

Daddy, I love this Psalm. I love praying it over my kids, my friends, myself. But Daddy, so many things seem unsafe right now. Close friends, family members with covid. A deceived government leader passing ungodly legislation promoting abortion and socialism. Friends leaving the church, moving away, or not.

But you say “When you sit enthroned under the shadow of Shaddai, you are hidden in the strength of God Most High.”

How am I enthroned? Are you telling me that I am exalted, on a throne, in your shadow?

Why would I be on a throne?

“You are ruling with me, looking to me for your every decision, interceding as my heart directs, legislating from the Throne Room. I trust you to legislate in my shadow.”

PSG FOR WHAT AILS YOU!

 

Ever feel like running away?  Where do you go to get away, to get alone?

My sister runs to her ‘tower room’ on the 3^rd floor of her home in rural PA, her writing place, her ‘time with Jesus’ place, her creativity place.

King David also went to a ‘tower room’:  “I will hurry off to hide in the higher place, into my shelter, safe from this raging storm and tempest.” Ps. 55:8 

Maybe the place we visited in Israel, Ein Gedi with its brooks, waterfalls and caves was one of those “higher places” where David went to hide.  I can imagine him wading in the cold water, refreshing himself, then stretching out on a warm rock to dry off in the sun, but I digress…

Interestingly enough, sometimes the danger we’re hiding from is not what we think.  The deceived leadership sometimes thinks invaders from outside are the main problem, so they guard the walls day and night, when “the real danger is within the city.  It’s the misery and strife in the hearts of the people.” Ps. 55:10

Oh, God, people need you to be their hiding place!

In Psalm 55: 17 David gives 3 practical actions (thank you!) that I can do to hide in the shelter of God’s embrace.

1.     “Every evening I will explain my need to him.”                            

 But he already knows my needs so why do I have to explain myself to him?

Because pillow talk with Daddy is better than silent tears on my pillow...

I think of my son, Christopher almost every night as I go upstairs to bed.  Chris was always a night owl, often going to bed as I was getting up for work in the morning.  I used to whisper as I passed his door on my way to bed at night, “Go to bed, Buddy!” sometimes out loud, sometimes under my breath.  I think of Chris, can’t believe he’s really gone, and the tears come. 

David said to explain my need to God.  Don’t stuff it.  Don’t give yourself the excuse that “here I am with the same problem I’ve come to him about for the past 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years…” If it’s bothering you, he cares and he wants you to talk to him about it.

Remember, “pillow talk” with your sister or brother – if you had the privilege of sharing a bedroom with a sibling as I did, or sleepovers with close friends where night time led to secrets shared in the dark?

Daddy says, come and tell me, explain it to me.  Don’t say, as one of my dearest friends often does – “you don’t understand!”  Tell me. Explain yourself.  I want to understand.

Come and explain your need to me.  And not just once.  Do you need to talk only once to your friend, your husband or wife, your brother or sister, your mom or dad, and it’s done?

Embrace the feeling of comfort you receive when God shares your joys or your sorrows, the shelter of being known by someone who adores you.  Daddy loves you and wants to hear all about it, again and again.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  And the burden is so much easier to carry when it’s shared with someone else.  Or better yet, when I just unload it on him and let him carry it for me, like Corrie Ten Boom’s father did for her in her book, In My Father’s House. 

 2.       “Every morning I will move my soul toward him.”

 What does that look like?

No shame over last night’s unloading on God.  His arms are still open wide to me, beckoning me to come and rest my head on his shoulder.

What is my soul?  My mind, will and emotions, the real me – who I am on the inside.  The person I may try to hide by running into my tower room - that’s the person that needs to move toward God.

So I draw near.  I consciously turn toward God and not away from him.  I snuggle with Daddy, like David did every morning.

He’s always happy to see me.  He’s watching as I open my eyes each morning, waiting for me to come and snuggle, to move my soul toward him.

 3.      “Every waking hour I will worship only him.”

 According to Christianity Today, “true worship … is defined by the priority we place on who God is in our lives and where God is on our list of priorities.”

So, when problems are elevated above God… When anything takes precedence – good or bad – over first place in my thoughts, time, actions… Then I need to come back to #3:  “Every waking hour I will worship only him.”

Nothing is too big or too small for God.  One of my favorite teachers, Pastor Bill Johnson says: “If it matters to you, it matters to God.”

Don’t elevate the issue or it steals your focus.  You can’t focus on the problem and on God.

Like God says in Proverbs 3:5-6, “in all your ways acknowledge me and I will make straight your paths.”  I see a squiggly road map, but Jesus just gives it a shake, like shaking the wrinkles out, and there before me is a straight road.

What good advice from a man after God’s own heart: PSG!

1.       P - Pillow talk every night.

2.       S - Snuggle every morning.

3.       G - God first all day long.

The Front of the Line

 

Is it legal to ask God to favor someone, to skip over others and bring them to the forefront? To pray for others in line for a job, a rental, a home, that God would pull their applications to the top of the pile, the “front of the line”? I’d prayed that way before, but was it legal?

I discovered the answer to my question this morning in Psalm 47:4: “He marked our inheritance ahead of time, putting us in the front of the line, honoring Jacob, the one he loves.”

If God does it, then it must be ok for me to ask him to do it for the ones I love and encounter along the way, right? So I left for work armed with this new truth, and a prayer: Jesus, let me be close to you today, hearing your every whisper, your direction, your instructions, your encouragement.

Well into my day, a client came to the office to sign some paperwork. He was having some legal problems and our office had prepared a Motion to file with the Court to hopefully get him some relief. In addition to his legal problems, he also had his foot in a walking cast.

“What happened to your foot?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s multiple stress factors from being on my feet all day long at my job,” he responded.

Stress in his legal issues. Stress in his body. And now the waiting begins for the overloaded Court to get around to hearing his Motion? Sounded to me like someone needed to be moved to the front of the line.

So I told him about the verse I had read in the Psalms that morning, about how God moves people he cares about to the front of the line, so it must be ok for his kids (me) to ask him to do that for others. And I prayed aloud for God to do just that, to bring his case to the front of the Court’s calendar, and to heal every fracture in his foot. It seemed to me as he left the office that day with a smile on his face, that he was walking a little lighter knowing that God cares about him, his legal issues, his fractured foot, and that it was okay to ask God to move him to the front of the line.

And the promise is for me, too!

So I declare today that You marked out my inheritance ahead of time, before the foundation of the world you knew me, putting Taffy at the front of the line, honoring your Taffy as the one you love. Like John, your “beloved” disciple, I am the one laying across your chest, leaning close, listening to your every word with the cadence of your heartbeat as my anchor.

I don’t know about you, but I would have fainted unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of God - with skin on, before my eyes - in the land of the living.

Oh, God let your people in Afghanistan and Haiti see your goodness today, while they are still alive.

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait – entwine yourself in the Lord, yes, keep on waiting – for he will never disappoint you! Psalm 27:13-14,

But God, I do get disappointed!

But you promise that you won’t disappoint me. There is a difference.

The Shema

 

Last night I was cranky.  Maybe that’s why my family left me alone for the evening and went about their business.  I realized that I needed to spend some time with Jesus.  So I turned on The Chosen and binge watched the first 3 episodes of season one, because whenever I watch The Chosen, I feel like I’ve just been with Jesus.  Jesus with skin on.  I see him more clearly, feel his nearness as I watch his story unfold on the screen.

So, episode 3 was about Jesus interacting with a group of children.  At one point in the episode Jesus asks the kids to recite the Shema, and he sits there listening as the little ones proudly speak out the familiar words taught to every Hebrew child:

“Hear, O Israel!  The Lord our God is One.  And you shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your strength..”

I kept watching Jesus’ face as he listened and gazed at the faces of the children.  He was all filled up!  So proud of them.  Yet I also saw sorrow in his eyes.

Why?

He knew what lay ahead for the children, and for himself.  Yet he was all filled up, listening to them worship, trying so hard to please him.

After that, we turned the TV to the ongoing worship and prayer service at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City – Jim had joined me by then.  And a group of kids, actually young adults, was singing love songs to Jesus.  And I saw his face again, all filled up as he gazed over each boy or girl singing about his goodness, his glory, the people in the room  dancing, singing, some laying on the floor worshiping.

And you, Jesus were all filled up, overcome with love for each one, but maybe some sadness, too?  Sadness for the hardships your kids will face.  Your kids in Afghanistan, many of whom may be with you before the week ends.  Who love you with all their heart, souls and strength – to the very end.

And I am all filled up, seeing you all filled up.  Knowing that you see, and you care.  Nothing misses your gaze.  No one falls to the ground without your notice, not even a sparrow.

May I always be counted among your kids, Jesus, loving you, pleasing you, serving you, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Yeshua Hamashiach.  Who for the joy set before you – your kids – endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God, where you ever live to make intercession for us.