The Bullfrog Amen

 

Proverbs 3:5-8 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.“

I’d memorized the first 2 verses of this scripture verse as a teenager, but now coming it across it again while I was researching scripture promises to pray over my bones, I discovered verses 7 & 8.

My latest bone scan, at 70 years of age, showed decreasing bone density, borderline osteoporosis. My doctor told me I needed to take active steps toward increasing my bone density, or I would be full blown osteoporosis by my next scan. She told me to increase calcium rich foods – that the body absorbs more calcium through foods than with supplements, and to increase my weight bearing exercise. Like walking, she said. Well I already walk a mile and a half nearly every morning before work.

I left the doctor’s office with some other ideas for saving my bones. I decided to research scripture verses to pray over my bones, and to ask a group of my closest friends to pray those verses with me over our bones.

This morning as I walked the Lord reminded me again of Proverbs 3:5-8. “Worry rots the bones”, he told me. “But trusting me in everything nourishes your bones.”

Then he asked, “Are you ready to trust me?”

“Repeat after me.”

He was giving me a walking Sozo!

“I choose.”

I choose, I repeated.

“To trust you.”

To trust you.

“Even when I cannot see the path in front of me.”

Even when I cannot see the path in front of me.

Just then I heard the bullfrog sing out in the drainage pond as I walked by.

“That was the ‘amen’!”

I smiled and echoed what the bullfrog was croaking, Amen!

4:32

 

I woke up while it was still dark and turned to glance at the clock as I often do when I awaken during the night. The digital clock read 4:32 a.m. Immediately I heard "Ephesians 4:32", a scripture verse I had memorized with my children when they were little. I had also composed a little melody that we would sing together: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God for Christ’s sake, has forgiven you, Ephesians Four Thirty Two.”

So I lay there, half asleep singing the little song in my head, but the last phrase of the song, “just as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you” stood out to me. What does that mean? God does not forgive me for my sake? My repentance, or regret over my sin is not the basis of my forgiveness?

I thought of the phrase “for my sake”, and could picture me asking a favor on behalf of a friend.

“Would you please give my friend a place at your table?”

“What? I don’t even know her! Why would I have her over to dinner?”

“I know, I know, but would you please do it for my sake?”

“Oh, ok. I don’t know this lady, and don’t need another person at my table, but because I love you, and would love to have you at my table, I will give your friend a place at my table. For your sake.”

So the devil might complain to God about why he would forgive me, kind of like when he accused God’s servant, Job. “Why would you bless him? He’s nothing special. He only loves you because you have blessed him. Remove the blessing and he’ll curse you to your face!” the devil challenged.

And that’s what the devil does. He is the accuser, laying guilt on us, sending his spirits of discouragement, depression and doubt to cause us to hide our faces from God because we don’t deserve his forgiveness.

So Father God highlighted to me that little phrase this morning to remind me that he forgave me for every sin, every doubt, every way I’ve hurt his heart, not because I deserve it, or have made up for it with good deeds or penance, but for the sake of his son, Jesus. Because he came home to his Father on May 9, 1966 and asked him, “Would you please give Taffy Tucker a seat at your table?”

And Father God smiled and asked, “What has she done to deserve a place at my table, Son?”

That’s when Jesus said, “She’s with me.”

Dad's Birthday

 

July 18, 2022

 

Today is my dad’s birthday.  He’s been gone a long time now, but his birthday pops up and reminds me of him.

My Dad was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, but he left that “church” sometime in his early adult years, as it didn’t match his lifestyle.

When my sister, brother and I met Jesus in 1966, we all began to pray for my Mom, and my Dad, now divorced, that they would come to Jesus, too.  My Mom came gloriously to Jesus shortly before she died through some neighbors on the street where my brother lived.  The fact that those God-loving ladies lived there, before my Mom flew out to CA to live with my brother, was truly a gift from God.

One morning, years after my Dad had died, I was praying.  I don’t remember the subject of my prayers, but as I got up to leave my prayer room and get ready for work I felt Father God whisper to me, “You know your Dad is with me?”

Well, no, I didn’t know that.  Didn’t know if he had ever actually connected with Jesus before we found him on the bathroom floor that night.  We had shared about Jesus with Dad many times, but he’d never responded in such a way that I knew he had met Jesus on his own.

There had been some indications that God was drawing Dad near, like when Dad was asked his religion during a hospital interview, and he told the nurse “Christian”.

So one night at House of Prayer I was sharing these things with my prayer group and my friend, Joe, who has a real heart for people who are Jehovah’s Witnesses told me that a Jehovah’s Witness will never, ever say “Christian”, when asked what religion they adhere to.

When I heard what Joe shared, a joy filled my heart.  It’s true!  What I heard from Father God is true!  And I looked toward heaven and told Father God, “So he’s really there with you, isn’t he?”

 “Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” ..Acts 16:31

Always Praying for my Triumph!

 

“Who then is left to condemn us? Certainly not Jesus, the Anointed One! For he gave his life for us, and even more than that, he has conquered death and is now risen, exalted, and enthroned by God at his right hand. So how could he possibly condemn us since he is continually praying for our triumph?” Romans 8:34 TPT

It seemed to me that it happened so suddenly.  One day my daughter was a loving, happy kid, and the next day a moody, rebellious teenager.  I talk about it as the day the aliens came and took her away and left someone else in her place.  And all her troubles were, of course, my fault.

I remember her standing on the stairs, screaming at me, “I hate you!”

Gone was the sweet, creative little girl making me valentines and hand-made gifts.  Without any warning, standing in front of me was this young women who hated me.  So caught up in her whirling hormones, disappointments and the lies she was believing, she forgot that I had always been her biggest cheerleader, that I was for her, not against her.

Shocked and wondering what I had done to upset her so much, I went to her and said “Look at me! Remember me? It’s me, Mom.  I’m your biggest fan!  I’m not the enemy. It’s me! I’m in your corner, routing for you.”

That’s when Daddy reminded me, you do that to me sometimes.

You get angry with me and in your heart you blame me for the disappointments and hard times.  As if I caused the cancer in your family, or it was me instigating the divorces.

You forget who I am, and I have to gently turn your face toward me, wave my hand in front of your non-seeing eyes and tell you, Hello, Taffy, look at me!  It’s me, Daddy, the one who loves you.  I’m always in your corner, I’m your biggest fan, your greatest cheerleader.  Remember me?

Then I wake up, and shake myself out of the fog I’m in. Oh, it’s you?

Yes, it’s me!

It’s you, Daddy?  And you still love me? And you still promise to work all this garbage out for my good?  OK, then, I will lock eyes with you once again, put my hand in yours, climb up on your lap. Choose to trust you again.

Because it’s you!  The One who gave up everything for me, just to be my Daddy.  My biggest encourager, my biggest fan.

How could I blame you – you’re so good. I just had my eyes closed so tight in fear and anger that I wasn’t looking at you and forgot who you are. That you are the one who doesn’t condemn me – even when I condemn myself, and is continually praying for my triumph.

And the beautiful thing is that in returning, there is no shame.  He reminds me that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.  Daddy never holds my mistakes over me.  We just start over from wherever we left off.

Keep your eyes on me, he says. Remember that those who look to me are radiant; they will never be put to shame. (Psalm 34:5)

Skipping thru the Psalms with Daddy: Psalm 139

 

Reading Psalm 139 this morning.  It’s all about Father God knowing me.

Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to be known. Like when I visited a church while running away from another church about 20 years ago.  I’d been hurt and wasn’t ready to be known or recognized.  I sat in the back, enjoying the amazing worship they had to offer, ready to make a quick getaway at the end of the service. 

But Daddy, it’s different to be known by you.  “You are intimately aware of me, Lord.  You read my heart like an open book…” Ps. 139:3

You know me so well that you never give me the wrong gifts.  You know me, what I like, my brand of gum, v-neck shirts, wisps of pink clouds as the sun wakes up in the morning, acorns on my morning walk, the first bloom on my dogwood tree.  Heart whispers that remind me that you see me.

Ps. 139:5 “You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past.  With your hand of love upon my life, you impart a blessing to me.”

The future can be a scary place, not knowing what’s around the next bend. Retirement, health issues, and more in the land of “what ifs”.  But you tell me that you are running ahead of me, scouting out what’s to come.  Nothing takes you by surprise – you see it coming and get me ready to navigate whatever is coming, hand in hand with my Dad.

You go ahead of me, and you follow behind me, too, to pick up all the lost pieces of me along the way.

Not every touch is comforting.  Not every hand laid on me is welcome.  But your hand of love on me is warm, comforting, - please don’t ever take your hand off of me, Daddy!  Your touch is sometimes very light, like butterfly kisses.  Sometimes firm like snatching me out of harm’s way when I fell in the street back in Iselin, NJ as a child.

Sometimes I say “where are you, God?” like when Chris was dying, and when I got the call that Melody had passed away on her balcony one winter night… But you promise that “your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.  There’s no such thing as darkness to you.”

You never say “I’m in the dark on that one!”, for “the night to you is as bright as the day.  There’s no difference to you.”

I need night vision goggles, or I need to hold tight to your hand for you see right through the darkness.  It’s as light to you.

You recorded in your book the number and substance of my days before my life began.  And you will write the book in my heart alongside me when the time is right.  “Kisses from the Father” will be shared with the family of God, a glimpse into the intimacy between you and me, to draw in those hungry for a Father’s touch.

Ps. 139:17  “Every single moment you are thinking of me!

Listen, Daddy says: You’re never forgotten, never overlooked by the God of the universe, so don’t sweat the small stuff, not being recognized or invited to speak or share your heart.  Just look to me and see I am delighted with you on all counts.  Ps. 139:18 “O God, your desires toward me are more than the grains of sand on every shore!”

“When I awake each morning, you’re still with me!” Ps. 139:18 

Pinch me!  I didn’t just dream about it - when I wake up you’re still singing over me the song I heard as I fell asleep.  It’s real! It’s true!  And I get to spread wide my heart and show others that you want to be their Daddy, too!

Like Jim Elliott once said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose.”

 Knowing you, being known by you, is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I don’t know why you picked me to belong to you, but I’m yours for life.  No one knows me, or loves me like you. 

Here I am, your little daughter, “Delighted in You”!

Welcome Home!

 

“Loving me empowers you to obey my word.” John 14:23

That’s great!  If I’m struggling to follow you, I just need to snuggle up to you and let your love empower me.

But that’s not all!  “And my Father will love you so deeply that we will come to you and make you our dwelling place.”

Me, your home?!?  You want to move in, not just visit on my good days? The God of the Universe comes into my living room, kicks off his shoes and sits with me in my recliner. And lets me know he’s not going anywhere.  And Jesus, too:  “We will come…”

But what about Holy Spirit?  Will Holy Spirit come, too?

Oh yes.  “But when the Father sends the Spirit of Holiness, the One like me who sets you free, he will teach you….and inspire you to remember every word I’ve told you.”

Only one thing I can say, “Welcome home!”

No Regrets

 

I was driving with a friend a few weeks ago, chatting about heaven, and her brother and sister, who are there.

She asked me, “Don’t you think people feel regret in heaven for what they did on the earth?”

Later I looked up the meaning of regret: “feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity”; “regret is distress of mind, sorrow for what has been done or failed to be done”.

I was in her house one day witnessing my friend’s sister expressing deep regret over how she had hurt her son. I saw her standing at the top of the stairs, holding her son as he cried, lamenting over what she’d done. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Is there that kind of regret in heaven?

God says he will wipe away all tears in heaven. But if we don’t lament in heaven over our poor choices in life, does that mean we lose our memories, don’t remember our failures?

I don’t think Father God does a lobotomy on us when we enter the pearly gates. So remembering our failures must somehow be different there.

1 John 4: 16-18 says “Love never brings fear, for fear is always related to punishment. But love’s perfection drives the fear of punishment from our hearts.”

What’s it like to fail in front of someone who you know loves you and will never stop loving you? What’s it like to view something you did on the earth that was very wrong, standing next to the one who died because of that act?

I think it’s still sad, but remembering with Jesus standing next to you reminding you that your mistakes intentional or otherwise are paid for, in advance, changes everything.

So, where is Jesus right now?

That’s right, he’s right here. Right next to me, seeing everything, knowing what I’ve done, loving me anyway. So then let’s talk about regret here and now, no need to wait for heaven. There’s a new way to deal with regret over real crap we’ve done, or are doing.

God says “Those who look to me are radiant; they will never be put to shame.” Psalm 34:5

This is reality! Dream with me: If shame is off the table, how is everything different?