I'm a lover of His presence

It was another fretting time, another time where I was focusing more on the problem in front of me than on the One who holds me in the palm of his hand.  I rushed home from a stressful and busy week of work on Friday, and immediately “changed hats” to get the rugs vacuumed, bathroom cleaned, kitchen tidied and floors washed to be ready for company that evening.

As I cleaned I was grouching and I knew it!.  I was aware that the chores were not being done with joy because of my attitude, but continued anyway in that frame of mind. 

Then I realized that a song was playing in the back of my mind as I mopped.  We had sung it the night before at House of Prayer, and there I was singing in my spirit, as I grouched, “I’m a lover of your presence, I’m a lover of your presence, I’m a lover of your presence, and that’s all I wanna be…” 

Now satan is a shame player.  He loves to bring things up to us to make us feel ashamed and unworthy to stand in God’s presence.  But God isn’t like that.  The Father always seeks to call us back to our true identity, who he made us to be, and to draw us into his arms.  If this was satan’s tactic I would have felt ashamed when I realized that I was grumbling, while singing a worship song.  But the instant I recognized the song playing in my spirit I felt the Father say to me, “This is who you really are.” 

I hate when people see me at my worst, and maybe don’t know who I really am.  I hate when I see myself acting like I am not a lover of God.  But God always looks at the heart and calls out true identity.  It’s all about honor.  God honors each one he loves, and he loves each one he made.  He woos us with his love whispers.  “This is who you really are; this is who I created you to be.” And hope rises up that there is more than whatever rut we may be in at any given moment, that there is someone who always believes in us and encourages us to be the person he sees in our heart of hearts, the person we really want to be. 

Then, when we “get it”, he calls us into the family business.  He gives us the joy of honoring those around us and calling them into true identity.  And it’s a whole lot more fun than grouching!