Loving Life with William

My 6 year old grandson, William is very active, and so busy being busy that he sometimes acts without thinking of the consequences.  Like practicing his artistic skills on the furniture, or trying out his new scissors on someone else’s papers.

In the beginning, when he was confronted with something he had done, he would lie.  “I didn’t do that!”  Even if you caught him in the act, the marker still in his little hand, he would deny vehemently that it was him.

One day William came into my prayer room and found me laying on the floor.  “What are you doing, Grandma?” he asked. 

“I’m talking to Jesus, “I told him. 

“I don’t see Jesus,” he said.

“No, I can’t see him either, but he’s here.”

A few weeks later, my grandson came to me one evening after work and said, “Grandma, let’s go in your room and talk to Jesus!” So we did.  We both laid down on the floor and told Jesus about our day.

Not long afterwards, my grandson came to me and said, “Grandma, I have to show you something.”  He took me into my back room and showed me that he had used my elliptical machine while I was at work, and tangled the cord from the adjacent window blinds so tightly in the wheel that the pedals would no longer turn.  

I was upset!  

“William,” I told him.  “I told you not to go into my room when I’m not home!”

“I’m sorry, Grandma,” he said.

I wrapped my little grandson in my arms and told him I forgave him, and was so proud of him for telling on himself, for telling the truth and not lying, …and please, don’t ever use my elliptical machine again.  I cut the blind cords and removed them from the machine and marveled at God’s grace.

William came to me again yesterday.  “Grandma, I took some of your cookies.”  I had told him I was making cookies for our bake sale at church.  I hugged him again and told him how proud I was that he had come to me, and yes, he can certainly have some more of my cookies, so long as it was ok with Mom.  “Just remember to ask first next time.”

We’re all learners together, young and old, doing life, making mistakes, stepping on toes, forgiving each other because we know what it’s like to be forgiven ourselves when we’ve been someplace we have no business being, or done something that hurt someone.  And we know what it’s like when God reminds us “That’s not who you are” and calls us back to our identity as beloved children.  So we offer the same pardon and callback to identity to the ones we do life with every day.

Through My Eyes

Yesterday, I sat in the conference room where I work to witness and notarize Wills for a couple from India.  Coincidentally, just a few days earlier I had just finished sewing and mailed away a photo memory quilt for an Indian man as a gift from his family on his 80^th birthday.  As I sat listening to the distinct Indian accent of this brown-skinned couple I heard the Father speak to me:

“Looking upon him, he loved him.”

I knew the reference was to the scriptural account of Jesus’ encounter with the rich young ruler.  But Jesus was speaking with me about the people in my line of sight – immediately, this Indian couple – and the many other people that pass in and out of my world every day.

When Jesus met the rich young ruler he was not overwhelmed by his fine clothing, or his learned speech, or his high position in society.  He knew this man through and through – the good and the bad.  He knew about his love of wealth, and even that he would choose money over obedience to Jesus.  And yet the Scripture says:

“Jesus looked at him, and loved him.” Mark 10:21

So, how does Jesus look at me?  In scrutiny of my deficiencies and failures?  

Although the rich young ruler was selfish and loved money more than God, Jesus looked upon him and loved him. And he made sure it was recorded that way in Scripture so that 2000 years later he could remind me of his words over an Indian couple signing their Wills on a certain summer day in New Jersey.

Why this day, why this foreign couple who may not even know anything about God? Jesus was saying, “See how I see these people.  See how I saw the rich young ruler. I wasn’t blind to his flaws, but I looked at him through my eyes of love.  And that is how I want you to look at Indian folks, Muslims, atheists, terrorists, or just the everyday people who wait on you at the diner, or check you out at Walmart.  Do what you see the Father doing, like Jesus.  Look upon them, and love them.  Because I do.  Just as I looked at you when you were an angry, frightened thirteen year old without a dad, and I sent a friend of mine, Stanton Brandkamp – you will never forget that name!- to introduce you to Jesus at a Billy Graham movie, to look at you and see what I see, and bring you into the Kingdom of God.  Because I looked at you, and I loved you.  Just as I love you today.”

No One Ever Spoke the Way This Man Does (John 7:46)

Ruined!

Once you spoke to me,
Said my name,
I was ruined, desperate
To hear you speak again and again.

No one ever spoke the way this man does.
No one ever looked into my eyes,
Gazed into my very soul,
Saw it all and still chose me as his own.

It's All Good!

“I don’t want my goodness to catch you by surprise.”  That was a prophetic word I read on Father’s Heart Ministry this week.

And just why would the goodness of God catch someone by surprise?  It would if they were living by Murphy’s law:  “If there is anything that can go wrong, it will.” It would if they viewed God as the “God of the second shoe”.  I have struggled with that one.  Pinching myself, holding back from rejoicing over blessings as I wait for the second shoe to drop.

Recently I had been spending time with the Lord in the morning and then got up to go about the tasks of the day.  As I turned to leave the room where I hang out with God he spoke to me, “It’s all good.”  I stopped in my tracks and listened.  “It’s all good.  Do you believe it?”  I think I believe it, Daddy. 

A few days later I had sat down early in the morning to finish a quilt order, a photo quilt ordered for a birthday that was 5 days away and needed to get done and in the mail to the Midwest.  We were on vacation, and I had brought along my sewing machine and all the items needed to finish the quilt.  I set up the machine, laid out my supplies and looked for the quilt top, searched the apartment, searched the car twice, looked and looked, backtracked and searched, and the quilt top was nowhere to be found.  Finally I sat down and felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach.

What was I going to do?  I could not recreate the quilt and get it where it needed to go by Saturday.  The photo printing would need to be reordered, the fabrics bought again, all on my own dime since I had already spent the monies paid for these items.  The shoe truly had dropped.  The blessing of another quilt order to help in my fundraising effort for the Israel Prayer Journey had fallen through.  As I sat silent in my distress, Jimmy woke up and joined me in my efforts to find the missing quilt top.

After about 20 minutes of distress, we discovered a plastic bag with the missing quilt top right on top of the counter behind my sewing machine!  I cried in relief.

Then Daddy reminded me of what he had told me, “It’s all good.” And it was.

“Do you believe it?  Do you believe me?”

I want to.  I choose to. Not because I will always find the missing quilt, but because Daddy is a good daddy, a good God, and he doesn’t hide things from his kids, and pull the rug out from underneath them.  He’s not the God of the second shoe, waiting to drop it just when they were getting ready to rejoice over their blessings.

What a blessing to find that quilt top.  What a relief it was to get it sewn and in the mail later that week.  But what a blessing it would have been to have believed God on the front end.

I may not understand what’s happening or why it’s happening, but I do know my Daddy.  He told me it’s all good, because he is so good, and I can run to him when I lose my quilt top, get sidetracked in my plans, come to a seemingly dead end with no place to escape… and let him comfort and direct me because he already knows how he will work it out for my good.

“It’s all good.  Do you believe me?”

Look to Me!

Look to Me!

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.: Jeremiah 2:13

After reading the second chapter of Jeremiah this morning, I had this conversation with the Lord.  He did most of the talking:

He spoke first, “Look to me.”

Yes, I see you.

“No, look to me.”

Lord, I see you.

“Look to me!  Not out of the corner of your eye just keeping me in your line of vision, not as a back up provision, just in case.”

“Look to me.  Invest all you have on me – I am a sure dividend.  No need to hold anything back just in case things don’t work out, just in case I don’t come through, just in case the stock market crashes, just in case you lose your job, lose your health insurance, lose your friends and/or family.  I mean it when I say I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Though all others may abandon you, I will never forget you – I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

“I have invested heavily in you.  And I am a wise steward – so don’t even go there.  I thoroughly research all my investments, you included, and I determined before the foundation of the world that you were worth it, worth the investment of my only son, Jesus.  Worthy to be a home for my Holy Spirit.  A worthy dwelling place for my glory to abide and leak out of.”

“So, look to me and don’t dig your own wells.  I am the God of more than enough.”

Make Mine Smothered!

I had a burrito at a famous Mexican restaurant last week.  It had all the ingredients I love, grilled chicken, southwestern corn and black beans, and guacamole inside.  And I was hungry! With great anticipation – this place was featured on “Triple D”/ Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives – I raised that first forkful of burrito to my mouth, and was greatly disappointed.  I tasted no guac, no spices, no anything.  My famous burrito was absolutely tasteless!  I asked my server for some hot salsa, mixed it with the avocado ranch dressing already on the table, and added the mixture to my burrito so I could bear to eat it, half of it anyway.  It was huge!  A huge tasteless blob.

I later overheard other diners ordering what they called “smothered burritos”, and I realized my error in ordering.  I like the burritos at La Tenampa in Toms River, NJ that come soaking in a hot, spicy red sauce, and just assumed that my burrito at this famous place would be as wonderful.  And maybe it would have been if it was soaking in the right stuff.  After all, the same ingredients are in La Tenampa’s burritos.  But my memories of those burritos are not so much all the good stuff inside, but the warm afterglow of the spicy sauce that lingers after the meal is over.

So, who do I want to be?  A knowledgeable, filled up, experienced person, looked up to for having all the right ingredients for success, or a somewhat messy, unabashed lover of God, soaking in the presence of the Holy Spirit.  The first one is a forgettable part of the meal of life.  The second leaves a warm and lasting glow of having been with the Father, not unlike how the two disciples felt after meeting Jesus on the road to Emmaus.  The Bible says their hearts burned within them all the while they were talking with Jesus.  They didn’t remember the burrito – they basked in the soaking sauce of the Holy Spirit that lingered after Jesus had left them and couldn’t wait to tell their comrades about it, and to experience that presence again.

Yes, dry can be neater.  No sauce on the shirt or running down the chin.  Smothered is never predictable – you may end up laughing hysterically, or crying, or laying down on the floor.  But the warm afterglow is worth the unpredictability.

Yeah, make mine smothered!