Recipe for Joy

 

“Gaze upon him.

Join your life with him.

And joy will come.” Psalm 34:5

Gaze.  Not just a glance, a fleeting view, but locking eyes with Jesus.  Taking the time to gaze into his eyes, and his heart.  You complain when you feel that people don’t see you, treat you like you’re invisible, so don’t do that with God.  Play “when I look at you I see” with God:

I see eyes of compassion.

I feel known – when I look at you I see recognition back at me, like when a friend showed up at my door yesterday and at first, with her mask on, I didn’t recognize her, but then I realized “it’s Chrissy!”.  That light in your eyes tells me, “It’s you!  I know you!  I love you!”  It’s like spotting that one person in the crowd that you know, that relief you feel that there is somebody there that knows me.  I gaze at you that way, communicating through my eyes that I see you, I behold your beauty, your God-ness, your goodness, your humility in becoming a man so you could see us all. 

I love your sense of humor, the way you laugh with me.  And how you cry with me over memories, triggers of my emotion.  Before I share what I’m feeling with Jimmy, or Chat, first we share it.  Tears as I drive up the parkway past the LBI exit that would take me to the Chegg, Chris' favorite restaurant, only 2 months since Chris’ passing.  I still can’t believe it.  All that and more as I gaze upon you.

Join your life with him.

Reminds me of what I learned about the word ‘wait’ in the bible.  Wait upon the Lord.  Waiting is not a passive thing, like the English word connotes.  The Hebrew for wait is “qavah” or “kawa” – to entwine oneself with God.  Wilna Furstenburg in Illustrated Faith describes it like this:  “Imagine two ropes being braided into each other so that in the end, you don’t know where one starts and the other one ends.  We entangle ourselves with God and his goodness and his grace in our lives.  We lock eyes with God, and we are filled with faith, hope and expectations…Entwining our eyes with our Father’s eyes is what enlightens our entire being!”

What does entwining look like?  

What does it look like to be in a 3 legged race with Jesus?  Matching his pace.  Arms wrapped around each other.  You can’t walk a step without touching each other.  We have to be going in the same direction – not trying to turn around and go back.  A shared goal.  Joining my life with his, not having him join my agenda.  No more my and mine, but us and ours.  Like Jimmy and me, but more permanent, not part-able by death.  I know some day either he will lose me, or I will lose him, but I will never lose you.  You will never lose me. For no one will ever be able to pluck me from your hand.

And joy will come.  Sometimes exuberant, dancing kind of joy.  Sometimes warm, huggy kind of joy.  Security.  Knowing I’m home.  I’m home, Daddy!

Gaze, entwine, joy.

Hope and Measuring Up

 

Started a “Hope Journal” this past February, when the pandemic was just moving into our lives.

Hebrews 6:18b was the impetus:  “And now we have run into his heart to hide ourselves in his faithfulness.  This is where we find strength and comfort, for he empowers us to seize what has already been established ahead of time – an unshakeable hope!”

But isn’t it a negative thing, to hide from trouble? 

It might be if I was just hiding from something.  But in this case, it’s a positive act to hide in God’s faithfulness. I address life through the covering of his faithfulness. (The only time it's ok to hide under the covers!)There my eyes are opened to see what I already have, what he has already erected for me, an unshakable hope.  Outside of his faithfulness life is more like a teeter totter leaving me questioning what is real, and what is False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR)?

And how about the word “Seize”!  Not a wimpy word, but an aggressive action, like taking the Kingdom by violence.  Seize is a violent, deliberate action.

What a wonderful, powerful scripture to meditate on!

So I wasn’t so sure why God ended our time in Hebrews talking about “measuring up”.

I felt God say to me: “My kids measure up.  You didn’t even register on the scale until I stepped on with you.”

That sounded strange to me, so I talked it over with Jimmy later that night.  We both thought that doesn’t sound like you, Daddy, to say that without you I have no weight, no value.

But as I lay in bed that night before sleep, you explained that it is because I died and my “old man” no longer exists that I don’t register on the scale without you.

Colossians 3:3 -  “For you died and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”

Galatians 2:20 -  “My old identity has been co-crucified with the Messiah and no longer lives… and now the essence of this new life is no longer mine, for the Anointed One lives his life through me – we live in union as one.  My new life is empowered by the faith of the Son of God who loved me so much that he gave himself for me, and dispenses his life into mine.”

Daddy says, “It’s all of nothing”.  You can’t continue to measure up based on some of your past identity, and some of your new.  Either it’s all gone, or all here on the scale – you choose.

I don’t need the excess weight!

I choose to give up all and keep nothing.  I run into your heart to hide myself in your faithfulness.  This is where I find your strength and comfort and your empowerment to seize what you’ve already established ahead of time – an unshakeable hope.  Hope like a strong, unbreakable anchor that attaches my soul to God himself, and is fastened to the Mercy Seat in the heavenly realm.  Connecting me to heaven, while standing firm on the earth.  I choose to give up all and be found in you, not having a righteousness of my own, that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Jesus – the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. (Philippians 3:9)

No more working to measure up!  Here I am seizing what Daddy has already provided for me, standing in the stature I have because of Jesus standing ramrod straight inside of me! 

IN THE BELOVED!

 

9/4/2020

Today I heard the words “in the Beloved” on my morning run.

Ephesians 1:3- talks about being “in the Beloved”.  I remember that phrase from my King James days. 

What does it mean?  What does it look like?

Not striving to get in, not still trying to measure up, because I’m already in the Beloved.  I didn’t get in by doing anything.  Daddy invited me, on May 9, 1966, and I said yes.

So why did you want to tell me about this verse, this morning? 

Because you’ve been struggling again, competing to be the best, feeling like what you do is never enough.

But what happened yesterday?

As she handed me my weekly paycheck, the boss told me “I gave you a raise, a few weeks ago.  I don’t know if you noticed.”

You got a raise and you were so busy working that you didn’t even notice it.

No, I didn’t.

You are already accepted in the Beloved.

“And he chose us to be his very own, joining us to himself even before he laid the foundation of the universe!”

Chosen before I was born?  Chosen before I’d done anything to qualify me, or disqualify me?  Hired and given a raise before I was old enough to know my right hand from my left.  When I was born, my dad named me Taffy, but you called me Beloved.

“Because of his great love, he ordained us, so that we would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence.”

Holy in your eyes.  So if I see things differently, I’m believing a lie.

Yes.

“For it was always in his perfect plan to adopt us as his delightful children through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace – for the same love he has for his Beloved One, Jesus, he has for us.  And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!”

I remember the morning in my prayer room as I got up from the floor to get ready for work, and I heard you say “I love you as much as I love Jesus.”

You let your words hang in mid-air for a few seconds and then asked me, as you so often do, “Do you believe it?”

My response:  I’ve been in competition all my life.  Number 3 among 5 kids, with a cute baby sister.  I strove in every relationship to be the most loved.  If I wasn’t picked first, I felt less than.  And I hated feeling less than, so I just tried harder, doing, striving.  But now you say you love me as much as you love your first born, Jesus? 

Weeks later I came across that scripture, Eph. 1:6  “… for the same love he has for his Beloved One, Jesus, he has for us.”  And I was so excited!  What he’d whispered to me in the prayer room, he put in his word so I could see it in black and white, and hide it in my heart.  And the icing on the cake is this crazy statement:  “And this unfolding plan bring him great pleasure.”

What ?!?  It brings you pleasure to love me as your own flesh and blood?  Why?

This cascading love glorifies your grace.

All I can do is worship this amazing Daddy whose pleasure comes from adopting me as his child.

“Since we are now joined to Christ, we have been give the treasures of redemption by his blood – the total cancellation of our sins – all because of the cascading riches of his grace.  This super abundant grace is already powerfully working in us, releasing within us all forms of wisdom and practical understanding.”

When my mind stops being focused on how I can earn my position, keep trying to measure up to the status you’ve already given me without striving, in the Beloved, then and only then can I participate with you in your plans – experience “all forms of wisdom and practical understanding”.

“And through the revelation of the Anointed One, he unveiled his secret desires to us – the hidden mystery of his long-range place, which he was delighted to implement from the very beginning of time.  And because of God’s unfailing promise, this detailed plan will reign supreme through every period of time until the fulfillment of all the ages fully reaches its climax – when God makes all things new in all of heaven and earth through Jesus Christ.”

“Before we were even born, he gave us our destiny: that we would fulfill the plan of God who accomplishes every purpose and plan in his heart.”

So there is a master plan, and God chooses to share that plan with the ones whose destiny it is to accomplish it.  Without striving or competing, I choose to enter the rest of knowing I’m already accepted in the Beloved, and join the team of your lovers as we follow your detailed plan of bringing heaven to earth.

Suffering

Today Daddy says, “I choose you”.

Why?  Not for my extraordinary athletic abilitiesJ

No. For your heart’s cry.

Daddy, I feel like I’ve been living a little numb for a while.  So painful to watch the suffering all around me of situations I can’t change.  I think of these “impossible” situations and feel the pain, but go on.

With hope?

Not always.  It’s like The Shack, the great sorrow he lived in that kept him from being truly present with his family, with church, in friendship.

So what did I do for Mac?

You invited him back to the scene of the crime, the awful place of remembrance, to face the sorrow head on, stare at it and unload all that he had been bottling up inside, including railing out at you.

And I just loved him through every stage.

Daddy, what about me?

Come walk with me.

OK, but please show up.

I’m here.

OK.

Jesus carried my sorrows.  Isa. 53:4 So why am I still carrying them?

Yes, why are you?

What about Col. 1:24? It talks about completing your sufferings.  Wasn’t your suffering enough?  Didn’t you suffer so that I wouldn’t have to?

“I can even celebrate the sorrows I have experienced on your behalf, for as I joined with you in your difficulties, it helps you to discover what lacks in your understanding of the sufferings Jesus Christ experienced in his body, the church.”

So we labor with the sufferings of each other to help one another discover what lacks in our understanding of the suffering Jesus experienced for us. 

Col. 1:26 “There is a divine mystery—a secret surprise that has been concealed from the world for generations, but now it’s being revealed, unfolded and manifested for every holy believer to experience.”

The secret surprise – who doesn’t love surprises?

And here’s the surprise: “ Living within you is the Christ who floods you with the expectation of glory! This mystery of Christ, embedded within us, becomes a heavenly treasure chest of hope filled with the riches of glory for his people, and God wants everyone to know it!”

“Christ is our message! We preach to awaken hearts and bring every person into the full understanding of truth. It has become my inspiration and passion in ministry to labor with a tireless intensity, with his power flowing through me, to present to every believer the revelation of being his perfect one in Jesus Christ.”

Me, your perfect one?

Yes, and now your assignment is to remind your brothers and sister that Jesus calls each one of us “his perfect one in Jesus”.

So yes, we labor and suffer for one another, “contending for you that your hearts will be wrapped in the comfort of heaven and woven together into love’s fabric.  This will give you access to all the riches of God as you experience the revelation of God’s great mystery – Christ!”

So I midwife.

And I allow others to assist me in my own labor.

It’s what the Church does.

To present to every believer the revelation of being his perfect one in Jesus.

Contending for one another so that our own hearts will be wrapped in the comfort of heaven, and woven together into love’s fabric.  One bolt of heavenly fabric.

Spending the Day with Jesus

I’ve been working on a teaching I intend to share at Women of Hope, after the social distancing for the coronavirus is lifted.  I call it “Journaling thru the Scriptures with God”.

So I decided to start with the Gospel of John.  John is the disciple who described himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved”.  He was pictured several times in the Book of John leaning on Jesus’ chest as he sat with his friends.  I can’t blame John – If I was there I would be right there laying my head over Jesus’ heart, head to head with John! 

The way I do this “journaling with God” is that I read a few verses, or maybe even just one verse, until something jumps off the page to me or catches my attention.  Then I write about what I am thinking, and ask God some questions, and write what I feel he is saying in response.

Today I started, and ended with John 1: 39.  I had read the passage in John 1:35-39 yesterday about how two of John the Baptist’s disciples left John the Baptist, at his direction, when they met Jesus along the way.  They left following John to follow Jesus.

John 1:39 “…and since it was late in the afternoon, they spent the rest of the day with Jesus.”

It was late morning as I read, and I wrote this to Jesus:

“Jesus, it’s late morning.  Can I spend the rest of the day with you?”

Two scriptures immediately came to mind: “I have no greater joy than to see my children walking in the truth.” 1 John 3:14.

And:  “I have eagerly desired to share this (Passover) meal with you.” Luke 22:15.

So Jesus takes great joy in seeing me walk in the truth.  Think of it, I spend time with Jesus, and he thinks he’s getting the best end of the deal!  It’s as if spending time with me is something special to God.

And he emphasizes how much he enjoys my company by telling me how each and every time I take communion, the bread and the cup, in remembrance of how Jesus died and rose again for me, that each time he eagerly desires the encounter with me!

It’s like how I feel when I get to spend the day with Richard and Darlene Tittle.  Just to be in the same room, to share hearts, to spend time with Jesus in prayer together, to hash out problems, laugh and cry and just do life with people I cherish.  That’s how Jesus feels about spending time with me.

When I get to heaven, there will be a clamoring from my family and loved ones to see me again, to welcome me home, to “hug the stuffing out of me”, as my friend, Carolyn like to say.  But they will all step aside to allow me to run into the arms of Jesus, face to face, cheek to cheek.  To physically climb onto Daddy’s lap, to see his face, to reach up and touch his beautiful face, to look into his love-filled eyes. 

And I’ll say, “Daddy, can I spend the rest of the day with you?” And he’ll smile and nod.

“The rest of the day, and the rest of my life!”

Raising up an Army of Intercessors, by guest blogger, James P. Spaloss, Jr.

Today I am delighted to share with you a piece from my husband, Jim Spaloss, taken from his prayer journal.  Enjoy, and accept Jim's invitation to be part of the heroes fighting the pandemic.

"This is an excerpt from my prayer journal shortly before the 2016 presidential elections.  Reading back through my journal today I saw this entry and felt that it is very pertinent to the coronavirus pandemic situation we are navigating in the USA, and around the world:

The enemy seems to be using many strategies to attack our country at this time.  Foolish leaders, lust for materialism, greed, and preoccupation with just having a good time.  The rejection of God and the church.  The desire of hostile Islamic groups to import their ugly vision of life here.

It makes me think of our country when they were trying to stay out of war in 1941.

Our fleet had been decimated after Pearl Harbor.   Our army was a joke. And we were drawn into a war that we tried to avoid.  We went from being a peaceful, non-involved nation to being the supplier of the world and the major factor of WWII.

I have learned that behind the scenes during that time of war there was an army of intercessors praying for our nation.  It must have looked impossible to fight a war on two fronts with no great standing Army, Navy or Airforce, not knowing if the Japanese troops were going to attack the west coast at any given time.  

We can brag about the American spirit and the courageous men and women who rose to the occasion to fight the war.  But behind the scenes was another battle, a spiritual battle for our nation.  I believe those who fought this spiritual battle were also heroes who turned the tide of what happened in the physical world.  

I believe those prayers led to the secret code of the Germans falling into Allied hands.  And Hitler making some stupid decisions. How about the battle of Midway, the turning point of the war with Japan, somewhat of a freak victory.  The Japanese had completed an air raid, returned, and were on the decks of their aircraft carriers to refuel and reload.  American planes caught them before any of the planes could take off, and sunk 3 of the Japanese aircraft carriers.  These events and many others turned the tide of the war.

It is time for us to raise up intercessors for our nation again, to be part of that army that fights the spiritual battle.  Pray for Hope over America!"

Coming soon to a Gallery near you: The Gallery of the Kings!

In The Passion Translation, Psalm 138 is entitled “The Divine Presence”.  It starts out with the psalmist’s passionate declarations of worship:  “I bow down before your divine presence and bring you my deepest worship.” Ps. 138:2

But why?  What causes the writer to bow down and worship?  The answer is found in verse 3: “At the very moment I called out to you, you answered me!  You strengthened me deep within my soul and breathed fresh courage into me.”

Can you remember a time when you cried out to God, and he answered you?

Even now as I write these thoughts I remember as a young girl crying out to God one night over 50 years ago.  I did not know God at the time.  I was in a deep depression, my parents going through an ugly divorce, with thoughts of suicide always near the surface of my mind, coupled with a fear of dying that actually kept me awake at night. That night I could not stop crying, sobbing at times uncontrollably.  I remember going to the window, looking into a star filled sky and crying out to God, “God - If there is a God – help me!” 

Although I did not know it at the time, at the very moment I called out to God, he began orchestrating my rescue from depression, death, and fear of death.  One year later I looked back on my life and marveled as I realized that because of the resurrection of Jesus, I was no longer terrified of dying.

So all this to say that Psalm 138:4 tugs on my heart in a special way.  “One day all the kings of the earth will rise to give you thanks when they hear the living words that I have heard you speak.”

What if others heard the God of the universe answer their prayers, come to their rescue, like he did for me?

What if the kings, the rulers of nations, cities, and governments heard God’s voice speaking living words, words just for them, words to comfort, encourage and instruct?  What if they heard these words right from God’s mouth to their hearts?  Personalized love bombs from the One who wants to be their Father, their God?

God wants to love on the kings of the earth so that one day they will rise to give him thanks.  Not because we preached at them, complained about them on Facebook, voted for or against them, but because God spoke directly into their hearts – whether audibly or in some still small voice.  Because when they hear God speak the living words that we have heard him speak, everything begins to change!

So I say, Yes, God!  I will partner with you in praying for encounter with God for the “kings” of the earth, the great, and not so great, men and women, people that God desires to come to a knowledge of the truth, and not to perish.

Coming in late spring to a gallery near you, “The Gallery of the Kings”.  Please plan to stop by the Creative Desire Gallery at Shore Vineyard Church, 1 S. Main St., S. Toms River, NJ.  View the portraits of world leaders painted by local artists, and join me in praying Psalm 138:4 over each of them by name.

“One day _______________ will rise to give you thanks when _________________ hears the living words that _________________ has heard you speak.”

Amen & Amen!

A Tribute to Portrait Artist, Rod Conover

I was a freshman in college when I first met Rod Conover.  I tagged along with my sister and her then boyfriend to attend a bible study at the Conover’s home on Whitty Road in Toms River.  I was maybe 19 years old at the time, had met Jesus some 6 years earlier, from a broken home, wounds buried deep within my heart.  

I didn’t know at that time that Rod was an apprentice of a wonderful artist, Jesus, and that he was in the business of calling the gold out of people, painting pictures with his words and actions, calling things that are not as though they are, like his mentor, Jesus did.

I met Jimmy there in Rod’s living room, hair down to his shoulders, maybe a year old in Jesus.  And I saw how Rod looked at Jimmy.  He treated him as an equal, this 19 year old hippie artist.  Jimmy’s friend, Valerie who regularly spent time with Jimmy getting high together, had invited him to Rod’s house where her life was getting transformed.  Rod encouraged Jimmy to get into the Word of God and share scriptures during the weekly “church service” in his basement.  Within a year or two, Rod had put Jimmy on the preaching schedule, encouraging him to use his artistic talents with chalk talks as he shared.

I was away at college most of the 2 years I had known Rod, and Jimmy.  During that time Jimmy and I started planning a wedding.  Rod was there with us all along the way, Jimmy’s go to for questions and struggles.  Our pre-marital counselling consisted of bringing things out of me that I didn’t even know were there, potential issues for conflicts with my soon to be husband, and dealing with them now instead of later.  It was painful at the time, but looking back I see that Rod was painting my portrait alongside of Jimmy’s, calling out the gold he saw in me.

Shortly before the wedding, as the three of us met to arrange the schedule for the wedding ceremony, Rod asked me “Who will walk you down the aisle to give you away? Your dad?”

“No!” was my abrupt response.  I hated my dad.  He’d left our family when I was 13 years old, and I could count on my fingers how many times I had seen him in those 8 years.  I had decided that I would not even invite my dad to my wedding.  No, I would ask my big brother, David to walk me down the aisle at my wedding.

Rod listened calmly as I explained why my dad didn’t deserve to be at my wedding.  And then he asked me a question.

“What is the loving thing to do?”

I knew I wasn’t loving my dad.  And I immediately knew the loving thing to do would be to invite him to the wedding, and give him the opportunity to walk me down the aisle as well.  So I agreed to call my dad, all the while hoping he had another engagement and couldn’t make it to my wedding.  But on June 29, 1974 Dad came to my wedding and walked me down the aisle and gave me away to Jimmy.  

I thought I would feel so good about doing the right thing, but that was not the case. I was “doing the loving thing”, but not doing it in love.  It was then that I realized that I needed help loving my dad.  When I thought of my dad, I became angry – there was no love in my heart for the man.  So I told Jesus I had no love in my heart for my dad, and asked him to give me some of his love for Dad.  

Jesus was so happy when I asked him!  I felt like his face lit up and he said, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me to help you with that!”  And help me he did.  Slowly but surely I began to love my dad, and years later, Dad asked Jimmy and me if he could come and live in our home.  We were able to open up our home for him to come and live with us the last years of his life. 

You see, the Master Painter’s apprentice, Rod Conover was painting that, too, as he painted my portrait.  And here I stand today as he painted me, a woman who has learned to forgive, a cherished daughter, so loved by her Heavenly Daddy, and her earthly daddy.

Mine was not the only portrait Rod painted as he attended the Master Painter’s painting lessons, but those stories are for another day.

I have eagerly desired....

“I have eagerly desired to share this meal with you!”

I had read that scripture verse before, but was not prepared for the first time I heard God speak it to my heart.

I had just returned from a mission trip to Israel, a prayer journey where my team and I celebrated communion every day, multiple times each day, depositing some of the bread and wine onto the land where we prayed as we traveled around Israel for 10 days.  We returned home on a Saturday, and Sunday morning in church as my husband and I prepared to take the bread and cup, I heard Daddy whisper those words.

“But God! I’ve shared this meal with you at least 20-30 times over the past week!  How can it be that you eagerly desire to meet with me today over this meal??!?”

I began to weep then as I understood that Jesus meant what he was saying to me.  He delights to enter into intimacy with me every time.  As in a marriage relationship, where a man and wife have been married for some time, they still cherish the marriage bed, never tiring of the intimacy of the marriage act, although they’ve been there so many times before.  Each time they eagerly desire to become one again.  All of that Jesus communicated to me in that one statement: I have eagerly desired…

That was over 10 years ago that Jesus spoke those words to me over the communion table, but he continues to remind me that it’s still so, and it usually brings tears each time.  “Me? You eagerly desire me?”

As I walked in the morning before work a few weeks ago he reminded me again, and I thought about the movie, Groundhog Day.  Every morning the man wakes up and goes through the same day, pursues the same woman, and stores up information on what actions and words will unlock her heart to his.  Each day he accepts the challenge to win her heart.

“It feels like the first time, every time.  I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes,” Tim McGraw sings in one of his country songs.  So God pursues his Bride, desiring to spend every night and every day at the forefront of her awareness.

Like the day I left my office and walked across the parking lot to my car and felt Daddy’s eyes on me, tangibly felt his gaze such that I turned and looking upward as if I might see him there above me.  I felt so special, like a little girl up on the stage, dancing, twirling, performing for her Daddy, and seeing his eyes on me, picking me out of a crowd of little girls dancing, his eyes only on me.  And I don’t feel his gaze every day, but I know it’s there, and I feel like he reminded me that afternoon at work that his eyes never leave me, that he’s always eagerly desiring connection with me.  There’s never a time I am lost, too soiled, too anything that makes him not want to be with me.

Isn’t that everybody’s dream?  To have someone love them that way?  To be, as Bill Johnson suggests, “the sparkle in someone’s eyes”.  The truth is every little girl or boy dancing through life gets to experience Daddy’s eyes seeking them out from the crowd, eyes only on them, eagerly desiring to be with them again and again, like the first time every time.

So I invite you into intimacy, not me, but the Father invites you.  Listen, can you hear his voice?

“I have eagerly desired to be with you!”