Reading Psalm 139 this morning. It’s all about Father God knowing me.
Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to be known. Like when I
visited a church while running away from another church about 20 years
ago. I’d been hurt and wasn’t ready to
be known or recognized. I sat in the
back, enjoying the amazing worship they had to offer, ready to make a quick
getaway at the end of the service.
But Daddy, it’s different to be known by you. “You are intimately aware of me, Lord. You read my heart like an open book…” Ps.
139:3
You know me so well that you never give me the wrong gifts. You know me, what I like, my brand of gum, v-neck
shirts, wisps of pink clouds as the sun wakes up in the morning, acorns on my
morning walk, the first bloom on my dogwood tree. Heart whispers that remind me that you see
me.
Ps. 139:5 “You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,
and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. With your hand of love upon my life, you
impart a blessing to me.”
The future can be a scary place, not knowing what’s around
the next bend. Retirement, health issues, and more in the land of “what ifs”. But you tell me that you are running ahead of
me, scouting out what’s to come. Nothing
takes you by surprise – you see it coming and get me ready to navigate whatever
is coming, hand in hand with my Dad.
You go ahead of me, and you follow behind me, too, to pick up
all the lost pieces of me along the way.
Not every touch is comforting. Not every hand laid on me is welcome. But your hand of love on me is warm,
comforting, - please don’t ever take your hand off of me, Daddy! Your touch is sometimes very light, like
butterfly kisses. Sometimes firm like
snatching me out of harm’s way when I fell in the street back in Iselin, NJ as
a child.
Sometimes I say “where are you, God?” like when Chris was
dying, and when I got the call that Melody had passed away on her balcony one
winter night… But you promise that “your presence is everywhere, bringing light
into my night. There’s no such thing as
darkness to you.”
You never say “I’m in the dark on that one!”, for “the night
to you is as bright as the day. There’s
no difference to you.”
I need night vision goggles, or I need to hold tight to your
hand for you see right through the darkness.
It’s as light to you.
You recorded in your book the number and substance of my
days before my life began. And you will
write the book in my heart alongside me when the time is right. “Kisses from the Father” will be shared with the
family of God, a glimpse into the intimacy between you and me, to draw in those
hungry for a Father’s touch.
Ps. 139:17 “Every
single moment you are thinking of me!
Listen, Daddy says: You’re never forgotten, never overlooked
by the God of the universe, so don’t sweat the small stuff, not being
recognized or invited to speak or share your heart. Just look to me and see I am delighted with
you on all counts. Ps. 139:18 “O God,
your desires toward me are more than the grains of sand on every shore!”
“When I awake each morning, you’re still with me!” Ps.
139:18
Pinch me! I didn’t
just dream about it - when I wake up you’re still singing over me the song I
heard as I fell asleep. It’s real! It’s
true! And I get to spread wide my heart
and show others that you want to be their Daddy, too!
Like Jim Elliott once said, “He is no fool who gives what he
cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose.”
Knowing you, being
known by you, is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t know why you picked me to belong to
you, but I’m yours for life. No one
knows me, or loves me like you.
Here I am, your little daughter, “Delighted in You”!
