Always Praying for my Triumph!

 

“Who then is left to condemn us? Certainly not Jesus, the Anointed One! For he gave his life for us, and even more than that, he has conquered death and is now risen, exalted, and enthroned by God at his right hand. So how could he possibly condemn us since he is continually praying for our triumph?” Romans 8:34 TPT

It seemed to me that it happened so suddenly.  One day my daughter was a loving, happy kid, and the next day a moody, rebellious teenager.  I talk about it as the day the aliens came and took her away and left someone else in her place.  And all her troubles were, of course, my fault.

I remember her standing on the stairs, screaming at me, “I hate you!”

Gone was the sweet, creative little girl making me valentines and hand-made gifts.  Without any warning, standing in front of me was this young women who hated me.  So caught up in her whirling hormones, disappointments and the lies she was believing, she forgot that I had always been her biggest cheerleader, that I was for her, not against her.

Shocked and wondering what I had done to upset her so much, I went to her and said “Look at me! Remember me? It’s me, Mom.  I’m your biggest fan!  I’m not the enemy. It’s me! I’m in your corner, routing for you.”

That’s when Daddy reminded me, you do that to me sometimes.

You get angry with me and in your heart you blame me for the disappointments and hard times.  As if I caused the cancer in your family, or it was me instigating the divorces.

You forget who I am, and I have to gently turn your face toward me, wave my hand in front of your non-seeing eyes and tell you, Hello, Taffy, look at me!  It’s me, Daddy, the one who loves you.  I’m always in your corner, I’m your biggest fan, your greatest cheerleader.  Remember me?

Then I wake up, and shake myself out of the fog I’m in. Oh, it’s you?

Yes, it’s me!

It’s you, Daddy?  And you still love me? And you still promise to work all this garbage out for my good?  OK, then, I will lock eyes with you once again, put my hand in yours, climb up on your lap. Choose to trust you again.

Because it’s you!  The One who gave up everything for me, just to be my Daddy.  My biggest encourager, my biggest fan.

How could I blame you – you’re so good. I just had my eyes closed so tight in fear and anger that I wasn’t looking at you and forgot who you are. That you are the one who doesn’t condemn me – even when I condemn myself, and is continually praying for my triumph.

And the beautiful thing is that in returning, there is no shame.  He reminds me that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.  Daddy never holds my mistakes over me.  We just start over from wherever we left off.

Keep your eyes on me, he says. Remember that those who look to me are radiant; they will never be put to shame. (Psalm 34:5)